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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in beck's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, August 12th, 2006
8:55 am
In memory
Jeff Evans

A talented chef, a gifted person, and a good friend. You will be missed.

June 16, 1980
August 8, 2006

(enlighten me)

Monday, September 22nd, 2003
3:17 pm
it doesnt matter who you know. it doesnt matter who you date, or what school you go to, or what part of town you live in. it doesn't matter what parties you go to, or who you're sleeping with, or what car you drive.

it matters how you treat people.

there is no excuse for behavior. being rude or mean because of PMS, or because of a bad day, or because you are drunk.. it's all bullshit. it matters how you treat people. think about it.

Current Mood: distressed

(enlighten me)

Sunday, September 21st, 2003
9:50 pm
hey chris.
hey chris. i dont know if you read this. i hope you do.

im going to beat the shit out of you. i want to kill you. there is no excuse for beating the shit out three of my best friends. i dont care how angry you were. i dont care how drunk you were. you should go kill yourself, because i'm going to make you wish you were dead.

what guy beats up three helpless girls? one worthless piece of shit who is only takin up good space on this earth.

disappear, chris. now.

Current Mood: infuriated

(enlighten me)

Tuesday, August 12th, 2003
10:33 am
if anybody knows chris thompson's phone number, please tell me... he borrowed my copy of mein kampf and i need it back and i dont have his number..

(2 smart asses | enlighten me)

Thursday, June 19th, 2003
6:50 pm
how correct this quiz always is never fails to amaze me.
Your Existing Situation
Feels obstructed in her desires and prevented from obtaining the things she regards as essential

Your Stress Sources
Resilience and tenacity have become weakened. Feels overtaxed, worn out, and getting nowhere, but continues to stand her ground. She feels this adverse situation as an actual tangible pressure which is intolerable to her and from which she wants to escape, but she feels unable to make the necessary decision.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Feels rather isolated and alone, but is too reserved to allow herself to form deep attachments.

Your Desired Objective
Feels that there is little prospect of achieving her hopes and therefore surrenders herself to a life of sensuous ease, free from any problems.

Your Actual Problem
The tensions induced by trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond her capabilities, or reserves of strength, have led to considerable anxiety and a sense of personal (but unadmitted) inadequacy. She attempts to escape from this into a stable and secure environment in which she can relax and recover, free from any further demands on her.

Your Actual Problem #2
The fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants increases her need for security and freedom from conflict. Is therefore seeking stability and an environment in which she can relax.


(enlighten me)

Wednesday, April 16th, 2003
3:23 pm
4 months today. i love you, ashley.

(enlighten me)

Saturday, February 22nd, 2003
9:53 pm
i have to pee.
my weekend thus far (mostly just today):

yesterday: went to nick's house. watched fear and loathing (of course).

----holy jesus, i've fucked up half the words i've typed so far. whats wrong with me tonight?----

-went to ashley's to visit her parents. her mom insisted that i go through ashley's closet, dresser, and cds to take whatever i wanted. i ended up with a shitload of tanktops and not too many sweaters and t-shirts (tanktops are generic.. the sizes are usually all the same).. a few belts, like 10 pairs of shoes, a few cds, and a formal dress... i really wanted the other one, but her mom said she wanted to hang onto it a little longer for sentimental reasons even though it doesnt fit her. she said she'd probably part with it after a while, and she kept urging me to take more clothes and stuff. it was really not a sad day at all, i kept perspective well, and i was really in a peachy mood.
-went to the park with larkin, john, and melissa. my cell phone ended up over the side of the bridge, and into the chattahoochee river, underwater for no less than five minutes (while john stripped down to his boxers to go fetch it for me), and it still works!!!!! i officially have the Super Phone Of The Entire Phone Universe. whooha.
-larkin and i went to nick's house, as we always do when we're bored. we watched a video of jeremy collins getting his gross chest waxed (damn funny. he was almost crying the whole time), explored nick's attic, and videoed larkin while she got stuck on the attic ladder and tangled up in her pants.
-followed nick to the mall where he was an hour late meeting some freshman who wants him. larkin wanted me and nick to make out in front of the freshman before she and i had to go, but im trying to be a good person and not quite so catty and blatantly bitchy, so i didnt do it.
-oh. i forgot our little satanic ritual in front of nick's driveway... burning pictures.. wishing bad things/death upon a crazy girl for the hell of it..
-had dinner at applebees with larkin, laura, beth, and megan watch. very eventful.. very amusing.. damn good food.. lots of talk about the living together after graduation thing.

today's weather rocked my world. ive been in the best, most tolerant mood all day. well, except for when we were driving to the mall, and these people kept blocking the damn intersection, and i was about to lunge out of my car with a knife and an iron fist to get the party started.

but my road rage is not the issue here, thank you.

Current Mood: mellow

(enlighten me)

Monday, January 27th, 2003
6:33 am
in addition to my theory that my parents read my livejournal, i think one of my parents is reading my away messages either after i go to sleep or before i wake up.

when i go to sleep, the monitor is off, all windows are closed except AIM, and i am away.

when i wake up, the monitor is on, and i'm conveniently 'back,' with all my messages popped up on the screen.

jesus christ. i'm sick of this shit.

Current Mood: irritated

(enlighten me)

Sunday, January 26th, 2003
9:18 pm
i'm becka, this is friends only, and you're jealous.

(enlighten me)

Tuesday, January 21st, 2003
7:12 pm
"How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust and cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies
Disguise yourself by living in denial
But in the end you'll see

-Christina Aguilera

Current Mood: suspicious

(enlighten me)

Saturday, January 4th, 2003
1:11 pm
oh wow. look what i found.

the entry i posted when melissa and i suspected that her dad and step-mom were reading our journals.

i think i ought to repeat myself to a different audience. its obviously directed toward her parents, but i think the general conceptual principle is clear. i am hoping you all know i dont only want this to relate to reading my journals.. i mean OTHER things as well... things possibly relating to my car..

"alright kids. listen up.

not kids, really. parents.

dont read your children's private stuff. dont go through it, dont search for things to read or go through... leave it alone.

and DO NOT read their friends private things, either. *ahem* excuse you.

im slightly irritated.


reading your childrens stuff(or their friends stuff) only makes them hate you. im not exaggerating. its not like "oh, im annoyed that they read my journal." or like "i wish they hadnt done that." its like "I HATE YOU AND I HOPE YOU DIE." do you want your child to think that about you?

reading it wont make them stop doing things, or make them tell you about things, or give you any more control over them at all. especially if you hide the fact that you've read it. what can you do then? nothing.

you're a moron. thanks. byebye.

thanks to certain moronic parents, all entries that are even slightly interesting will be posted as friends only. if you dont like this (if you're the parent who read this, too bad. i dont care at all.), sign up with LJ, even if you dont write in it. i'll add you as a friend so you can see my posts.

my calm moments are over. here comes my raging fury. dont read this if you are offending by cussing.

i HATE (HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE DEATH FIRE BURNING DESTRUCTION HOMICIDE HATE) being inconvenienced because somebodys fucking PARENTS read MY SHIT looking for bad things about their daughter. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. you're a bad parent anyway if you fucking search for horrible information about your child. oh my god. if i were a parent that ever did this sort of thing, i would kill myself. i would loathe myself to such an extent that i would cut off several appendages, chop up my precious hair, and then shoot myself through the chin upwards just to make a bigger mess. FUCK YOU. GO AWAY.

now that i'm all mad and angry and homicidal, i'm done. now i have a 3 page magazine review, 5 sources due for a research paper, and general other homework to get done.

and im sticking in one last FUCK YOU."

Current Mood: sarcastic

(enlighten me)

Friday, December 27th, 2002
4:11 pm
i love books about mental illnesses..
Sound. Absence of sound. Jiggling keys. The dinner bell. Whispering. Yells. Tranquilizers. Visiting. Out of control. Showers. Walks. Sunshine. Reflections. Medication. Cheek those pills. Tip the scale every Wednesday. Lithium vampires drawing my blood. Tuesday. Faces. Two packs a day. The final chapter. Nothing to do. Carly Simon. Babies crying. Me crying. Tears of a clown. Forever and a day. Keys. Escape. Alcatraz. A post office mug. Coffee in the morning? Spelled with two F's, two E's. No thank you. And youre welcome. Blaring silence. Bomber planes. Sky blue. I love you. Shut the fuck up. Smiling faces. The sixties. Bouncing laughter. Can't breathe. Too terrified. Charles Manson. To die, they say. To die. Help me. Help me. Help me. Please. Tick. Tick. Tick. Goodbye.
Smash that window.
I can fly.

Current Mood: pleased

(enlighten me)

Wednesday, December 25th, 2002
10:22 am
my inventory:

i did not get a jet ski. thats perfectly alright though, because i got:

-an electric guitar (squire) and an amp (fender)!!!!
-the new anne rice book
-four psychology books
-four pairs of toe socks
-a new cd case for my car
-the fast and the furious DVD, my favoritest movie
-a mall gift certificate

(enlighten me)

Saturday, December 21st, 2002
12:09 am
i dont like scary movies.. im aware of this, and typically avoid watching them at night. in fact, i dont watch them at all. ever.

but 'seven' isnt scary, right? its not a horror movie or anything.. and i already saw the first half once.. i wasnt paying attention (i was otherwise distracted), but i technically saw it.

and yet somehow, im too freaked out to fall asleep right now.

Current Mood: scared

(enlighten me)

Friday, December 20th, 2002
12:31 pm

Which guy are you destined to have sex with?

brought to you by Quizilla

who is karl urban? he's a sexy mothertrucker....

What's Your Bedroom Personality? (For Her)

brought to you by Quizilla
"Schoolgirls make plaid look good just so long as they've got great legs."

too bad i dont like my legs. lol

(enlighten me)

Tuesday, December 17th, 2002
9:05 pm
i just wrote this whole huge long entry... and deleted it all.

(enlighten me)

Sunday, December 15th, 2002
12:13 pm
dad asked me to go for a walk with him and the puppy, and i actually considered it. im avoiding going to the barn, and a walk would keep me out of the house. however, i dont like going on walks, so i asked if we could go out in the backward and throw around a baseball for a while. he dropped his newspaper and almost fell off his chair.

damn funniest reaction ive gotten in a long time. i should spring surprises like that more often.

oh, and this new wardrobe of mine is working out to my advantage. both parents really like the nicer way i'm dressing lately, and dad keeps offering to take me shopping. if only he realized this is my vain attempt at not being the Ugly Friend anymore and maybe perhaps becoming a Pretty Friend instead.

dude. i witnessed the becoming of an Ugly Friend in church today. this little 5 or 6 year old girl in the row in front of me was hilarious. she looked like she'd taken a dull pair of scissors to her hair and already had runs in her tights. then, she stood up and methodically began to dig with each finger into each nostril, looking for buried treasure. i had a psycho giggle fit in the middle of church thanks to this kid. oh well.

Current Mood: amused

(enlighten me)

Saturday, December 14th, 2002
10:39 pm
i am a horrible person. i really think i am.

i dont even want to think of the circumstances that made me this way.

it doesnt matter, really. the end result is the same. i am a bad person.

Current Mood: sad

(enlighten me)

Tuesday, December 10th, 2002
4:19 pm
my story for the day.
i am proud to say that one of my lower teeth is the bane of my orthodonist's existence. it refuses to go where it is ordered to go. it sticks out and overlaps and has been a general nuisance to society for months now.

my orthodonist decided to file it down to make it behave. he promptly revealed a device roughly the shape of a table saw, in the size of a quarter. i gave him my "dont you touch me. you'll have to bribe me to unlock my jaws" look (its my Worst Look- trust me. worse than the look i gave ms hammack today in spanish when she called me 'becky.'), and he cringed away, naturally. i warily separated my teeth in pity for him for suffering the wrath of my Worst Look.

he filed between each of my lower teeth in hopes of giving the renegade tooth space in which to straighten out. he kept that damn blade/saw inbetween my teeth for so long, i was positive i was going to have an entire row of fangs for a lower set of teeth. this thought was so absurd, i burst into one my psychotic giggling fits. the kind where you know you should shut up for the safety of not getting your lips sawed off by accident, but you just cant. it just doesnt work. he had to shut off his fang-shaping-device to let me cry, doubled over on the stupid (s-t-u-p-i-d-dumb) orthodontic chair, from laughing so hard for several minutes.

i sadly do not have a row of fangs. i really could have had some decent fun with fangs.

whoo boy. wow.


it really wasnt even that funny.


The truest thing I've ever read.Collapse )

Half of that book I wish I could post in here. It's hys-fuckin-terical. Wow.

it's not been a tuesday. it's been quite a funny day, actually. however, this makes me wary of exactly when tuesday is going to decide to show itself.

Current Mood: giggly

(enlighten me)

Tuesday, November 19th, 2002
7:08 pm
i am teaching my neurotic, homicidal cat how to balance on my shoulder like a parrot. i think she likes it.

"I will never ever have a boyfriend. It's not fair, there are some really stupid people and they get boyfriends. Zoe Ball gets really nice boyfriends and she has got sticky-out ears."
(Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging)

(enlighten me)

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